I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
