Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
