need another drink. this is the easiest way
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
