She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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