I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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