ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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