i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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