If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize