guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
