He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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