Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
