You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
