someone owes me an orgasm
Do vagina's smell?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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