if i can run in heels then i can drive
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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