So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize