My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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