Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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