i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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