wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
