No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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