The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
