your parents love me but you hate me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
