you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
