We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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