Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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