just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
