don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
