Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
