When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
