All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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