Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
