Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
