I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
