i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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