I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
