THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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