She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
now i know why i became what i already was.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
