trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
