so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize