babies were throwing up all over the place
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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