I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
