You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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