come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
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she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
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You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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