So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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