After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
