Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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