Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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