I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
