I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
