Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
