i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
