Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize