so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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