just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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