If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
