dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
