Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
