This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
