That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
