The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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